That was a sucker punch and a half. I banked a 5-week severance package plus one week of earned vacation and was collecting unemployment benefits at about 50% of my former salary. After going through our budget I figured we were fine until unemployment benefits ran out, which gave me about a year. Despite this fact, I was nervous as hell and scared for what the future held for my child that would not wait for Daddy to get a job.

My days had previously centered on a 2-hour commute and 10 hour workday, but now were significantly different. Instead of driving to the office, I started walking my dog every morning. I made my wife-to-be breakfast and lunch to go for her workday, and then took some time to think about the upcoming day. I surfed Monster and CareerBuilder for any new job postings and took occasional breaks for a cup of coffee and random house chore. At noon, I’d eat lunch in front of the TV, feed and walk the dog, and then return to my job search. Before I knew it, my wife was home, and it was time to start dinner. Then came the usual activity of that time… parking our asses on the couch to watch sitcoms.

The next few months of my life were spent this way, diligently looking for a job because that’s what I knew, that and parking asses on the couch to watch TV. I also knew that eventually, unemployment would end, putting us in dire straights for the income needed if I couldn’t come up with another source. In hindsight, I could have looked at options to start a business, but again, a job/career was all I knew. Thankfully, my soon-to-be wife’s employment continued throughout my job search.

During this time, I also spent a lot of time taking walks during the day and immersing myself in thought. How did I let myself become so blinded by the golden handcuffs (okay, more like silver handcuffs… them bitches be shiny) that I was now forced to spend every waking moment job searching for work and scared for the impending end of unemployment benefits? The terrible part is I know this isn’t uncommon. Many people with higher incomes live paycheck to paycheck. I recall a conversation with a good friend prior to my layoff that was earning a 6 figure income, who told me in all seriousness that he would consider suicide if he were to lose his job. Let that sink in… too many bills and high dollar hobbies, not wanting to disappoint the family by tightening the purse strings, and thinking that killing yourself for insurance money would be better for your family than a lifestyle change. That’s about the most f’ed up mess I’ve ever heard. But back to my story…

I felt like I should have been able to relax for at least a couple weeks and enjoy the “time off”, but I wasn’t that ‘lucky’. Of course, this was due to my own stupidity, but I hadn’t come to that realization yet. Despite these thoughts and questioning, I stubbornly refused to “let them get the better of me”. I steadfastly held onto to all my stuff: the two new cars, two new motorcycles, and the new house, while I continued chipping away at all those payments plus student loan and credit card debt. I continued running on the treadmill of debt, eager as ever to rejoin the rat-race.

After about two months, the interviews began, and another month later I had an offer in hand, received just after our wedding in mid-November. I had made it! I had survived my first sucker-punch from the corporate world, and it felt damn good. I felt like I had won. I kept all my stuff, paid every bill on time as we had been prior to losing my job, and now was time to kickoff my new career.

I was excited to start working as a consultant, away from what I perceived at that time to be the unpredictable and changing world of manufacturing, mostly due to many products in the United States switching to Chinese manufacturing. I was just as excited to hang out with former colleagues, knowing it would get back to the decision makers that I came out on the other side of their sucker punch, dusted myself off, and it didn’t even phase me. Ha! I won and was better off! Take that you bastards!

Yup, even at 35, I was a bit childish and petty.